I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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