are you still at the devil's house?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
