Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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