When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Someone signed my nipple.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
