You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm too high and old for this...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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