Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
