turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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