If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize