I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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