i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize