he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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