And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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