You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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