i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
