He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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