i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
