My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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