I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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