It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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