Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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