think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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