i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
