paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
