I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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