just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
