the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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