i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my shit smells like andre
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize