"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize