Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
