Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize