Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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