She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
