Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize