Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
