I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
