The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
