I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We have started to decorate penises.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
