she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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