Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
