Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
