i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
How naked do you want me to be?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
