dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
