just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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