I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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