there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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