Welp...herpes.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
