dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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