Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
