It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
