but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
