If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
