dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
