Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
