can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
