Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
