I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
