im having a threesome with these popsicles
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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