Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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