is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
