hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
